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ok last week when i was on the verge of a sort of collapse; i seriously did some sleep catch up. forced myself to go to bed and sleep. i've slept 10 to 8 hours every night and feel SO much better, i cannot stress enough (talking to myself here too)how much it is hard to sleep when we are wound up, but man i hit a wall last week that was scary. i've also noted that due to not using benadryl since january, the 50mg. whacked me down hard. to the point where i felt brain fog 12 hours after taking it(kinda like seroquel did). which makes me think out loud here about 'short term use' of certain meds, that the less we use those 'aides' they work better. i don't know.
i feel like a perky human being again, thank GOD! though i must stress that i am a stubborn mule when it comes to resting, as much as i am tired, i hate laying down. it's the only way i can truly shut myself down is to lay down and stop moving. then, when rest happens, i get up and feel like i'm going to bounce off of the walls, and want to run around wild. there must be a happy medium in this! i think my mind feels more spirited than my body though.

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50mg.lamictal
1mg.alprazolam-generic (cheap)
dx label:bp2
*note: just because i feel better today does not mean i can stop going to bed early and getting sleep. as a matter of fact, this is when many people think they feel better so 'all is well'--no. because i feel better, i keep getting sleep. when you come out of a rocky period such as this, you must not think you are out of the woods yet. keep the sleep going, and remain on task w all triggers.

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i feel it imperative i pass this warning on. as much as i have read over the years and experienced my own horrible withdrawals from prozac and seroquel, nothing comes close to this xanax withdrawal. i dreaded it for this reason. i put it off forever knowing it could be bad, and the thing i did wrong was not prepare myself for inability to think.

i did plan tapers, got lower dose pills from pdoc, switched from XR version to generic, yes. that was a plan of sort. i had no idea how bad it would get.

i am completely incapacitated. yesterday was a brief window where i felt good enough to go to the grocery store. but i felt sick.

i had to go out this afternoon for my vitamins and fruit and vegetables and frankly, i didnt think i would make it back home. i feel like i should be in a hospital, and i know for a fact not one would help this condition, except to throw drugs at it.

symptoms when in the grocery store and driving a short distance:
(don't go out if you can help it)
1. extreme sensitivity to light
2. severe ringing in the ears
3. confusion
4. cannot read words on my list, they made no sense
5. blurred vision
6. extreme noise elevation/things sounded louder
7. extreme hand tremors
8. *watching people talk to me and nothing registers, like my daughter complains of, that she can't hear me talk. this is a very big clue for her re: her medications, and i'm going to pick this apart. i see their face and it's not going into my brain. their words. it's just noise.
9. hard time driving.
10. shortness of breath, not like panic; it's like something is wrong with me.
11. the muscle pain, and stiff neck.
12. eyes feel like they are bulging out of my head.
13.*strangest feeling: like i am in a drugged up stupor/ which makes no sense unless my body is not processing the drugs out fast enough.

This is a nightmare.


Here is The Lights in My Windows blog, where I read some, and saw some of my symptoms, such as the jaw pain, etc. it looks like a lot of information, for me at least a verification that someone else felt like i do.

I also had signed up for the benzo island help site on my side bar and looked there today and they have replied with a valium replacement schedule. don't know how much i can think to pull that off.

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Day 60

Original Xanax rx:

1mg.Xanax(name brand)XR at night.
.5mg generic alprazolam at night
total 1.5mg. Xanax per day
Current: 1mg. alprazolam per day, divided.

--
During the last 2 weeks of hell, one key factor to note is I ditched the XR (extended release) form of the drug, which also changed from name brand to generic. I feel that is a key factor in my distress, not only is the drug not time released into my system I've switched over to generic which in the past has caused me problems. There is a XR generic version of the 1mg. that I now am on per day, and I found out I am sensitive to generic switch-overs one month when I was having what felt like withdrawals and couldn't figure out why; until I looked at my pill and saw the pharmacist had erroneously given me generic. The name brand costs me 40.00 a month as insurance co-pay, and looking toward the future of my insurance being decreased or eliminated/I thought it be best to go all generic now, as it's saving me money.(as in this stuff costs like 4 bucks now).

So, looking back at this taper I was doing fine on the first .25 removal of that .5mg pill. At the 5 week mark I was ready to drop the next .25mg, which meant that one pill would be gone leaving me on the Xanax XR.

That's what I should have done for a while. Remained on the Xanax XR for a long time after removing the .5mg. add -on alprazolam pill.

What I may do now, due to being down to the 1mg. per day, is go to generic XR version of the 1mg. I'm on, and not have to deal with breaking up doses.

What I most likely am going to do, is stick with what I'm doing. I have a high pain threshold and like everything else, I'd rather just deal with it and not make my life any more complex than it is right now, by being chained to several dosing a day of Valium or whatever.

Current regime:

1000mg. vitamic C am-plus high B vitamins in immediate release form
.25mg alprazolam
increased water intake
hot baths with sea salts to extract toxins from body
juice machine-with carrot, parsley,apple, beet

Afternoon 1000mg. vitamin C-plus high B vitamins in immediate release form

Bedtime
500mg. tab of vitamin C
50mg. benadryl
.75mg. alprazolam
*note: this regime was started yesterday afternoon and I feel immediate relief from all symptoms,(within hours) except for the ones listed below, which are minimal.Though the back muscle cramping in the upper back lingered through the night, it is gone now.I am able to draw on my experience with emergency vitamin detox based on CFS I've had since 1989. In the B complex are others, magnesium, etc. that are imperative. The sea/seaweed addition to diet and hot soaks is proven to work; by me.
Adding powdered kelp to soups with high potassium vegetables is a good thing to aide the body back to wellness, along with the fresh pressed juices, not concentrated like most chain juice bars use. Straight fruit and vegetables pressed via a juicer into cup, 2-3 cups per day. Fish, especially salmon, and steamed vegetables, whole wheat/low gluten bread, and little of it. Soft cooked eggs periodically, and the chamomile tea. That's just a small example of how to start. I cannot stress enough importance on the ocean and sea benefits in products for the body. There are some imported from France that are excellent. The cost of these items and diet is doable, considering it's a switch out from 40 bucks a month of Xanax.

On the books, added walks, and finding a sauna to use to sweat out the toxins. Making a phone call to Bastyr for a detox plan based on holistic approach, including soft tissue massage to release toxins. They have payment reduced plans for people like me.

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down taper of .25mg that has sent this taper into living HELL.

I wish I never started it frankly.

9 years of Xanax: apparently my body adjusted to it and is flipping out upon its removal. I did not think I would have a "benzo withdrawal" series to add to my side bar with my "seroquel withdrawal" series, but it looks like it's already happening.

*note: During this process I've switched from name brand Xanax XR to generic alprazolam, which has really messed up the steady flow of the drug in my bloodstream; I'm battling 2 things here: gone from XR(extended release) to generic and not extended release. Not a good situation. I'm about to go back on the 1mg. Xanax XR--but the cost $40.00 per month is part of the reason I'm going off of it. The generic is 4 bucks.

News the best top 10 >>> alprazolam xanax

Alprazolam is a white crystalline powder, which is soluble in methanol or ethanol but which has no appreciable solubility in water at physiological pH.
Each XANAX XR extended-release tablet, for oral administration, contains 0.5 mg, 1 mg, 2 mg, or 3 mg of alprazolam. The inactive ingredients are lactose, magnesium stearate, colloidal silicon dioxide, and hypromellose. In addition, the 1 mg and 3 mg tablets contain D C yellow No. 10 and the 2 mg and 3 mg tablets contain FDC blue No. 2.

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The best top 10 >>> alprazolam xanax

Current alprazolam : [start of taper March 1- from 1.5mg [1mgXanax XR;.5mg generic alprazolam].

.5mg AM
.5mg PM

April 5th, tapered .25mg. and I have had insomnia all week. I am trying to pick apart whether it is life situational stress, or the med removal or both. I think it's a combination of both. The loss of sleep is so far working alright, though it is annoying to be tired and not be able to remain asleep longer than 3 hours. I am also experiencing upper back muscle tension that is not typical when I am under stress.

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News the best top 10 >>> alprazolam xanax